About 40 years ago I read a book called “What makes Sammy run”. It was about a Jewish lad in the film industry who couldn’t stop working. Much to the annoyance of his family and colleagues, Sammy even worked on the Sabbath. No one could understand Sammy.

Many people want to make the most of their working lives and society applauds the hard worker. But when it becomes obvious to everyone (except the offender) that their behaviour is adversely affecting other people or other areas of their lives then they are completely out of balance and something must be done.

Ali lived to work

Ali got married and his father in law was a successful businessman. Somehow this affected Alis self esteem which was very low. All found he was good at something and got praise for it. The praise made him feel good. It lifted his self esteem. Ali was good at cooking fish and chips. So Ali decided to work hard in his fish and chip business to “be a success”. Eight shops later, Ali was juggling too many balls. He was working seven days a week and looking to buy another shop. He was still cooking fish and chips.

Most people want nice things for their family, a car, holiday homes etc but they work to live. Ali was living to work. He hardly spent quality time with his new son and his wife managed one of his restaurants so he didn’t see much of her. Sure he had a bigger car than most he was a very wealthy man (in money terms) but you can get to Cornwall on holiday in a small Ford, as well as in a big Mercedes. The trouble was Ali wasn’t even going on holiday to Cornwall anymore, he was too busy working.

Brian drove his colleagues mad

A short fan man Brian had been bullied at school. He studied when his friends fooled about and he had no luck with the girls either. Brian found something he loved to do. Work. More specifically Brian loved projects. He prided himself he could start with just a simple idea and turn it into a money making scheme for his employer. While working in private industry this was welcomed and the rewards of promotion followed. But Brian had to move on before everything caught up with him. He was juggling too many balls.

Workaholism is simply not profitable for organizations

One industry led to another and eventually Brian found himself working for a local council.

Councils provide a service and the employees are conscientious but rarely entrepreneurial. At least not as entrepreneurial as Brian. One project after another started to “appear”. His staff got uncomfortable with all the extra work in areas they were not quite familiar with. Eventually they went to the union and complained.

Workaholism is simply not profitable for organizations because short term gains are always offset by long term disadvantages. Brian promised not to start any more projects until the old ones were “bedded in” however he started several more and was reprimanded by a frazzled manager. So he stopped again. Only a few months later he was “sent home” and instead of stepping back and re-appraising his situation he started to work from home.

Brian had so many balls in the air and had ducked and dived so much he was terrified of “letting go”. Brian’s only relief was to change his drug and he started serious drinking. When work becomes an obsession it is a serious mental illness. Anything too excess is bad for us and can become fatal.

Are you a workaholic? Be honest with yourself!

Do you put in endless hours, forgo holidays and put everything on hold for the sake of work? Have you lost touch with your out of work friends? Does your family complain that they never see you? 

You may think it’s only stress. You may tell yourself it can never be managed. You may believe the myth “no one ever died from hard work”, WRONG. Workaholism can be fatal if not treated properly.

A progressive illness

Jean, a friend of mine, died last year while trying to make her first million. She went to bed and died of a heart attack. Her doctor had told her to slow down and take a holiday but Jean (36) had said “pressures of work at the moment – I’ll take a break later” Jack Jeans widower, is now spending her money with a young woman he had been dating for years because Jean had neglected him for the business! Jean had always said “I’m doing it for you and the kid” In a way she was!

Below is the path Jean took in her progressive illness. See if you can identify with this path. Be honest with yourself. You might like to ask your partner to read this too – if you dare! And remember addiction is progressive. If addicted, whatever the stage you are at the moment, over any period of time, it always gets worse. 

Early Stages

  • Rushing, busyness, caring, rescuing
  • Inability to say “no”
  • Constant thinking of work
  • Compulsive list making
  • Exaggerated belief in own abilities
  • No days off
  • Hours exceed 40 consistently.

Middlestage

  • Increase in other addictions begin; food, alcohol, relationships, money etc
  • Social life diminishes or non-existent
  • Begin to give up relationships and relationship obligations
  • Attempts to change fail
  • Physically worn out, difficulty sleeping
  • Periods of “staring into space”

Later stages

  • Blackouts at work or on the road
  • Chronic headaches, backaches, high blood pressure, ulcers, depression
  • Stroke
  • Emotional deadness
  • Moral and spiritual bankruptcy
  • Death

There is a solution..

The solution to this mental obsession lies in a paradigm shift. Sometimes called a change in perception or a spiritual awakening. This is a fundamental change in the way we view work. This change in mindset can be sudden or of the educational variety but to effect permanent change we have to have it.

Willpower only works for a short time

The paradigm shift is achieved firstly by accepting we have a problem. Secondly seeking to help overcome it and third working a programme of recovery. The problem is twofold. A mental obsession with work and a physical addiction to our own chemicals. Much like in a compulsive gambler – willpower always runs out and then we have to have our first fix. Once we have had the fix, we have to have another and another and so on.

The big secret

So the secret is to first get rid of the mental obsession then there is no need to worry about having the first fix. It’s the first one that does the damage but it is the mental obsession that causes us to take it. Mental obsessions cannot be overcome without help. We may be the strongest willed person in the World but willpower is of little use against a mental obsession. Willpower always, eventually runs out.

If recognising a problem is the first sign of recovery, then asking for help is the second. 

Seek treatment – doctor, psychiatrist or preferably workaholics anonymous. THeir 12 step program is designed to help you make the shift. Their fellowship offers group and individual help until full recovery is made. Twenty years of obsessive working is not going to be cured in 20 days or 20 months. When you are in recovery, you are in for the long haul but it is worth it.

At last you will achieve a work / life balance and find a road to joyous living – one day at a time.

Here are twenty questions from Workaholics Anonymous if you suspect you are (or somebody you know is) a workaholic. Answer them honestly as you can. Get a pan and tick the Yes’s.

  1. Do you get more excited about your work than about family or anything else?
  2. Are there times when you charge through your work and other times when you can’t
  3. Do you take work with you to bed? On weekends? Vacation?
  4. Is work the activity you like to do best and talk about most?
  5. Do you work more than 45 hours a week?
  6. Do you turn your hobbies into money making ventures?
  7. Do you take complete responsibility for the outcome of your work efforts?
  8. Have your family or friends given up on expecting your time?
  9. Do you take on extra work because you are concerned that it won’t otherwise get done?
  10. Do you underestimate how long a project will take and then rush to complete it?
  11. Do you believe that it is okay to work long hours if you love what you are doing?
  12. Do you get impatient with people who have other priorities?
  13. Are you afraid that if you don’t work hard you will lose your job or be a failure?
  14. Is the future a constant worry for  you even when things are going very well?
  15. Do you do things energetically and competitively including play?
  16. Do you get irritated when people ask you to stop doing your work in order to do something else?
  17. Have your long hours hurt your family or other relationships?
  18. Have your long hours hurt your family or other relationships?
  19. Do you think about your work while driving, falling asleep or when others are talking?
  20. Do you work or read during meals?
  21. Do you believe that more money will solve other problems in your life?

Many of the questions above can be answered “yes” but individuals who don’t have work addiction issues. However, #11, #14, #17 and 20 are certainly signals that the work-life balance is going wrong and some outside help might be beneficial. While it’s possible that you are simply in a job or have a boss that requires too much of you, it can sometimes be hard to see this without the perspective of a third party particularly if the problem is within the individual or if the worker is using work to compensate for something else in their life. In this way organizations such as Workaholics Anonymous can be useful resources for a life course re-correction the same way that Gamblers Anonymous or AA are able to help with those compulsive behaviors.

Contact: Workaholics Anonymous.

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